Nov 12, 2010

I like..

..finding a new blog and going down to their first ever post to see how they begun. It is fun to start from the begining just like reading a story or reading a book from cover to cover.  Hey it just struck me..all you wonderful blogs out there are actually stories, real ones!  wow!  I like! like! like!

P.S:  Can you see how random this post was...I just typed what was on my mind!  I guess I am getting some of this blogging thing slowly.  Actually I also wrote it just to push my previous depressing post down the list...dosent look good sitting there...the  first thing to read in my lil place of happiness

Nov 10, 2010

Spiralling downwards..

I always wanted to this blog to be a happy place...a place where i would try and write about all things that make me happy, things that would bring a smile to my lips.  Words I would want to read over and over again  just to remind myself of the feeling of happiness. 

But who was I trying to fool?  I guess myself. 

I have always tried to be a sweet girl and portray an image of goodness for as long as I can remember.  I have always let some people go ahead of me at the check out counter in the grocery store.  I have always spoken kind words and tried not to hurt anyone.  In my mind it is etched that you have to speak kind words, do good deeds.  But somewhere along the line it has also translated to being loved.  I now believe that I will only be loved if I am good.  Good grades equals love from parents, thoughtful gifts equal love from friends and family, sharing homework equals friends at school, sharing work assignments equals friends at work.  I know I am wrong, but why cant I get myself to believe that I am wrong? Is it because my mind is stronger than my heart or my heart is stronger than my mind? 

Looking back I have done things mostly only to please someone, not really knowing if it pleased me.  It has been going on for so long that I now no longer know what pleases me...what remains is only a deep rooted fear of rejection.  I have had a fairly normal life by most people's standards but still there are ghosts out there in my world whom I cannot face or even understand.  As i write this I know I am babbling, making incoherent sentences.  But what is in my thoughts is very real..there is that something I cant definitely point out to but something that makes me fear rejection and disapproval so much.  That is what makes me cry to sleep every night but I cant tell anyone why I am sad because I don't know myself.  When I now look at most of what I have done, I don't see myself as a good natured individual.  I only see a selfish and self centered person who did all of it just to be loved in return.  It sometimes makes me want just be selfish and jealous instead of masking it behind goodness and kindness. 

Does this make sense to anyone or am I a just a basket case? do you also sometimes like me, feel that all that happens between relations stems out of personal fulfillment?

Oct 15, 2010

What I wish Bangalore had...


My most fav city in the world is perfect....but one thing I wish we had was a sea shore like the one my actual hometown has. 

Walking barefoot by the sea shore and the waves gently washing your feet.  The ocean has one of the most calming effects on me.  It never ceases to amaze me how a quite 10 min walk by the sea side can change my mood so drastically.  I am a beach girl anyday!!

P.S:  I know I am not a foot model and you can almost park a small family car between my toes! I love it that way, gives me a reason to wear flip flops more than shoes because shoes are so constricting and who wears shoes to the beach anyways!

Oct 4, 2010

Stop, read, think and then share share share.......

I admit, this is a really long one...but take the time to read this and ponder about it.. give it 5 mins of your time I am sure you will find at least one sentence that will come back to haunt you and when that happens you know its time....time to share and help make an imperfect but happy place to live in...


Sep 6, 2010

Little joys

Today as I sat down to enjoy coffee flavoured chocolate chip biscuits as a little something sweet after my lunch I had a thought.  Alright, my life may not be going on too well currently and I have too  many things to worry about.  But I do not want to forget the little joys of life just because I am worrying about the big problems in my life.  I want to treasure the moments in life when I do not have anything else on mind and I am just enjoying that one moment.  Being worry free for just a moment.  Those are the little joys of life.  Coffee flavoured chocolate chip cookies? little joy.  Being able to wake up refreshed and happy after a good night's sleep? little joy.  Driving through pouring rains with the radio turned up? little joy.

So what is your little joy moment for today?

Why do I blog?

I know not what tomorrow holds,
I know not the where the path goes..

I dont have stories to tell
nor do i have any crafts to show or lessons to help your child to spell!

( I do know I am desperately trying to rhyme though!)

I am just a someone reaching out to no one
I am a tiny little voice which has made a choice

I am therfore I blog!



I dont know what drove me to start a blog.  I do not have everyday stories which I would want to share with the world.  Neither do I get flashes of intelligent thoughts or perspectives about the facts of life which I may be compelled to pen down.  I do not want to share pictures of my home or my life or my pet dog (if I had one!)  It is actually scares me when I read so many wonderful blogs written by such wonderful people all over the world. Such immense talent, so many touching stories, such strong hearts with unwavering faith and strength of a thousand horses.  So creative, so many achievers.  People who have changed lives, touched lives rewritten destiny.

But this much I know, I am therefore I blog!

Jul 30, 2010

Silly me!


Do you remember the games you played as a child? Apart from the usual hide and seek, hopscotch and chor police (translates to thief and police) do you remember playing a game that was thought up by you? We all did our fair share of pretending to be kings queens princesses and tea leaves pickers (yup my fav!) dint we?
                                                                     
I remembered this game I use to play as a child all of a sudden and now I am laughing and cracking up so much that I think someone around me is going to send me off to a hospital for those who have lost some marbles!  All you have to do is switch the first characters of a person's first and last name and say it aloud.  So Julia Robert would become Rulia Jobert!  I know this is silly but that is why it is fun!  Try it and I bet even the most objective practical sophisticated one among you will at least crack a smile!

Jun 15, 2010

:-(

I deleted one of my posts :-( how stupid of me!    Here is a lesson learnt in being over enthusiastic with formatting! Damn my OCD!! I will be back soon....with my dear post...
 
Update:  My post came back but chooses to stay below this one and refuses to come to the top of the page.  I can see Blogger and me are going to be such good friends in the future!!

Jun 12, 2010

Who is the Potpourri Gal ??

The creator of this blog, the sole reader of this blog, the neglecter of this blog, the sneaker(I don't mean the shoe but I cant find another word I like right now) of many other blogs...well here is PG trivia for you to let you find out who I am ..

(OK at this point it sounds almost like I am doing an interview with myself and asking in an authoritative tone "So Ms. PG, please tell me about yourself" and then I start to prattle away details of what I did or tried to do and what I ended up doing. But you know what? if you hang around here for like the next 50 years or so waiting for the 10 blog posts I may or may not post you will realize coming from me that is so normal!)

Graduated high school.  (Whew!!)

Kissed someone. (your baby sister counts, so does your dog if you have/had one or stuffed toy...comon they are all important people right?)

Smoked a cigarette. (tried ..to be cool and all and then realization struck...cool and me could never be in one sentence ever!)

Got so drunk you passed out. (I passed out of college..I at least did half this sentence )

Rode every ride at an amusement park. (oh yes yes yes...honestly the child in me takes over..everytime)

Collected something stupid. (I must have been a mouse or a squirrel in my past life I think...I cannot throw away anything! movie ticket stubs, bottle caps, chocolate wrappers, toothpicks, a button from a fav dress I wore when I was six, one white seed I stole from the grocer while my mom shopped ...oh I have them all)

Gone to a rock concert. ( not rock but Indian classical music concert yes)

Helped someone. ( I think I have...I hope the Big Man up there has at least one written down for me ;-)

Gone fishing. (yes...every summer when we use to visit my grandmother in the village we use to fish using a piece of cloth...maybe someday I will tell you how it is done..)

Watched four movies in one night. (for a serious movie buff that is no big deal!)

Lied to someone. (I would be lying to the whole wide world if I did not admit to this one!)

Snorted cocaine. (NO! NO! NO!)

Smoked weed. (NO! NO! NO! NO!)

Failed a subject. (I got inspired by the saying failure is the stepping stone to success once during college)

Been in a car accident. (Thankfully no)

Been in a tornado. (Have been in a tropical storm (we call it a cyclone) many times. We don't get tornadoes around here and if they are as bad as shown in the movie Twister I think I would not missing them)

Watched someone die. (what does it say about me if I said no to this one....I have led a very protected life or I live on an island or..I don't know)

Been to a funeral. ( see what I said above.  That and the other reason being that women are not allowed to visit a crematorium in most families here.)

Burned yourself. ( I blame my zero hand eye coordination for it)

Run a marathon. (this is something I seriously wish to do once I get my lazy self to listen to me and start jogging)

Cried yourself to sleep. (A lot of times ..that is all I am going to say for now)

Spent over 10,000 bucks in one day. (Boy does that feel good..untill you get to see your bank balance later)

Flown on an aeroplane. ( who else hates what it does to your ear drums?)

Cheated on someone. (well I would first have to find someone to do that right?)

Been cheated on. (someone has not found me either :)

Written a 10 page letter. (yes and have done that for 10 yesrs too...I grew up in times when we actually had pen pals and e-mail was a word we had not heard of)

Gone skiing. (I wish I wish I wish.....not, no ways with my set of eyes and hands that would be a sure way to meet my maker!)

Been sailing. (see above)

Cut yourself. (the hormones during your teenage can be really mean sometimes)

Had a best friend. (thankfully yes)

Lost someone you loved. (RIP Tiger my most favorite dog ever forever)

Got into trouble for something you didn't do. (actually the opposite being the youngest sibling in a family has some advantages too!)

Stolen a book from the library. (Oh no the Library is my place of worship and I would never do that I would instead choose to spend my life in there if I had a choice)

Gone to a different country. (sadly not yet!)

Watched the Harry Potter movies. (that is still in my big list of to watch movies)

Had an on-line diary. (my blog is the same to me)

Fired a gun. (Remember the shoot the balloons game we had in the fairs?)

OK I should have lost anyone who was even just stumbling by my site and everyone else in between so I am quitting this huuuge post I started and going monosyllabic!
Gambled in a casino. (no)

Been in a school play. (100 times or more)

Been fired from a job. (still stuck to my first job for five years now)

Taken a lie detector test. (no)

Swam with dolphins. (no :-( )

Voted for someone on a reality TV show. (not worth it...it is all rigged anyway and I am the worlds biggest pessimist anyway!)

Written poetry. (your first crush on the country's biggest movie star will make you do crazier stuff thank God I stopped at poetry)

Read more than 20 books a year. (each and every year!)

Gone to Europe. ( virtually yes)

Loved someone you shouldn't have. ( the movie star remember?)

Used a coloring book over age 12. ( my 12 year old neighbor hates me for it)

Had a surgery. ( not yet!)

Had stitches. ( remember the part about protected life?)

Taken a Taxi. (duh!!)

Had more than 5 IM conversations going on at once. ( the boon or bane of being in a desk job?)

Been in a fist fight. ( oh that would be a very stupid thing to do with my set of eyes and appendages!)

Suffered any form of abuse. ( high school mathematics should be legally classified as abuse I tell you...)

Had a pet. ( tiger forever)

Petted a wild animal. ( my kid brother falls under that category!)

Had your own credit card & bought something with it. ( and spelled my doom too!)

Dyed your hair. ( never pink or purple...that will be my lifelong regret....not!)

Got a tattoo. ( sometime soon..)

Had something pierced. (Traditionally in southern India all babies (both boys and girls)  have their ears pierced by the time they are a year old)

Got straight As. (OK there should be at least one thing I should have done right in my whole life right?)

Known someone personally with HIV or AIDS. (nope)

Taken pictures with a webcam. (huh?)

Lost something expensive. ( never had anything expensive to loose yet!)

Gone to sleep with music on. (yes and now all of you can add gone to sleep reading a blog post on your lists!)

I'd love to take this again in a couple of years to see how much more of this stuff I've done. And anyone who reads this is tagged!

Good morning!!

Breakfast in bed? thankyouverymuch!!

A letter to my friend...

While I went about thanking a stranger a few days back it hit me...Am I being this nice to my dear ones as well?  Uh...um..no not always..somehow I take them for granted and don't even show an iota of courtesy I would show to a stranger.  So here I am, in one more of my potpourri moments I want to remember forever.  This goes out to a dear friend who does not know how dear they are to me!

For all the talking I always do and all the ways I bug you it is the first time I have no words to say thank you! Thank you for being there, thank you for understanding and thank you for just being you!

This feels good....now that I have officially thanked you I can go back to being an annoying  bug in your life and you can go back to live in thin air! Hee Hee!!!

Does this sound like a personal letter to you dear readers? (I like the sound of "dear readers" although I know I am the only soul out here who has anything to do with this blog reading or writing!) then go ahead and do this for me will ya.. Go and thank the person who cares for you a lot but you take that as a given and see how it makes you feel..believe me you will love it! Go ahead say thank you!!!

Till next time...
take care and don't forget to smile (even at the cost of looking foolish it still is the best thing you can do to your looks!)

Jun 11, 2010

One word: Inspired.

Go here to get inspired too :-)

From here is where I got one of my most inspiring quotes as well...

"There is in every true woman's heart a spark of heavenly fire, which lies dormant in the broad daylight of prosperity; but which kindles up and beams and blazes in the dark hour of adversity."

Thank you Stephanie and here is wishing you a speedy recovery!

Jun 8, 2010

The only city in the world I can call home Namma Bengaluru!!

If there were something similar to a  base note in perfumes in life then the base note in my life would definitely be Bengaluru.  The city I call home.  According to Wikipedia the base note of a perfume is the scent that contributes to the depth and solidity of a perfume.  How apt! :-)

On the very top of my to do wish list is that I wish to photograph my city the way I see it.  I have a lifelong worth of memories here almost 90% :-)  But before I get my lazy self to go do that here is an little glimpse of my city


 I got this picture off the WWW and in case I am violating any (un)written law here please contact me so that we can fix that

Updated:  Here is a wonderful blog I found for life in my city  http://bangalore-city.blogspot.com/ Amazing pictures of my most fav city :-)  Enjoy and Thanks Rajesh for such great pictures!

till next time,
Have a good time and don't forget to stop and smell the roses :-)

Jun 6, 2010

I owe this one...

Its not everyday you meet someone who is warm and helpful by heart.  I mean we do know we have lots of wolves is sheep's clothing out there but sometimes along the way you meet this wonderful stranger who is so warm and friendly and helpful that it surprises you and makes you glad that there are good souls out there.  I met one wonderful angel like that yesterday and this post simply belongs to her.

I had to visit my friend who lives in a different part of the city, a part I am not too familiar with.  I was lucky to get there without any hassles but I ran out of luck getting back and got lost!!  (I know.. how can you get lost in the city you were born and raised in??  trust me you can...that is Bangalore! ) Then I met this wonderful girl at the bus stop (yes I travel by public transport....all the time.) who not only told me how to get back home but also waited with me till I got the right bus!  And mind you all this while she was letting go all the buses which would have taken her home! And that is a big deal here when you are alone and it is past 8 in the night.  And to her I owe a big....

Jun 4, 2010

Good things in life....



Apples on the floor??  No just clean green apples...love the tangy sweetness...and yes they are almost exoctic here so what would that add up to?  FAV of course!!

May 31, 2010

God in His infinite wisdom....

God in his infinite wisdom made a world without borders why then do we need passports to get to meet a fellow human dear to us?

He made us all the same then why do we identify ourselves by names and categories He did not give us?  Birds and animals do not have such rules.  Is this the price we have to pay for being the "intelligent" species among His creation?

God in his infinite wisdom gave us a bountiful to enjoy and love and share then why do some of us have all and some of us have nothing?

I ponder over such thoughts time and again. I know everything is not right but God in his infinite wisdom also taught us hope and trust and gave us the will to change.  To change what is not His doing (or asking), to break all walls we have built around ourselves and feel the joyous world he has created for us.  

Sometimes life (like my picture in this post) is blurred...that is when I reach out to Him to see the beauty of His creation.......

May 7, 2010

Writer's block??

Is it really possible to have a writer's block even before you are called a writer (at least by your standards if not by other's standards)  Well guess what? Apparently it is!!  I am just one post old and I cant think of what to write!!  It is frustrating to not be able to pin the damn thought down and write a decent paragraph!  So that got me searching frantically for all those notepads I saved with my to-do lists and quotes and sometimes just random thoughts (I told you people I am not going down without a struggle and I am really taking this blogging thing seriously...at least this time!)  And finally found something that interested me!  It is called the happiness project and had a long list of things I can do to be happy....but right now I am picking just one that fancies me the most at this moment...its called The One-Sentence Journal!  Now isn't that simple? Maybe I can come up with one sentence at a time...I can deal with paragraphs later!

Its really very simple all I got to do is write a single sentence about my day everyday!  You can complicate it by choosing a topic and writing something about it everyday but I like random so I am just going to ramble about something that catches my fancy!

If there is any soul out there actually reading this...you are welcome to join me in my war against wordlessness!! (spell check tells me that is not a word...but I like it so I am keeping it...WTH its my blog aint it!)

So when do I start?  No better time than now right?  So here is my sentence for the day:


May7th 2010:  Really exciting day today!  Got two great news at once ( there is something incorrect about this sentence I cant figure what though!).  One of my good friend at work is now a proud mommy to a beautiful princess.  The second one isn't really ready yet...but fingers crossed and hoping for the best is all I can say right now!

May 6, 2010

Whew!! I guess I made it!!


Its strange that I have been an invisible blog reader for about a year now but still am too petrified to start one of my own. Why invisible? Because in my past year of blog reading I havent posted a single comment on any of them.....have gone as far as typing something in the comment box and deleting it but post a comment nah! never done that!! Maybe I am just scared of the big bad Internet world out there....or just too shy...but here I am taking the plunge!! hope I learn to swim and not go down without a struggle....and that is just what I am going to do...struggle to be the blogger I am in my dreams :-)